So recently I drank 2 cans of Smirnoff black and I woke up with the worst stomach ache and its crazy because when I was drinking it my mum is like those aren’t good for you and I’m looking at her like gurl please, so obviously when I wake up I cant tell my mum or I will get an I told you so and some lecture about my attitude. Honestly though at one point my thoughts were my mummy was right I have forever damaged my liver and I wont even be able to ask for them donate theirs because I’m too proud a human being.
Another time my parents got some good news and they decided we should have a bottle of wine so I am the last child and the only one they can still force to hang out with them, the three of us are sat together with our wine glasses and my dad pours us wine and he gives me the littlest bit and I look at him and say don’t skimp pour more and the look on his face is priceless bare in mind I was already 18 at this point my mum just laughs at him because she knows everything that we do and I have been drinking with mum for years, she was like you have to prepare them at home so they don’t go out there and embarrass themselves, so true because thanks to that I’ve never been a messy drunk or a frequent drinker.
I once drank most of a bottle of wine from the fridge and my family didn’t notice and it was pointless because it wasn’t as though I drank it one go to get my self drunk I was drinking it in small intervals over a few days and it really wasn’t good my family do this horrifying thing where they put red wine in the fridge I have told them many times it is horrid but their reasoning is that its supposed to be room temperature but Nigeria is too hot and the fridge is equivalent to room temperature somewhere. That is the reasoning I live with its one of those things that you just have to shake your head about.
Anyway this is my drinking life in a nutshell either painful and avoidable or pointless and alone obviously on occasion my parents are there.
Ladies and Gents My sad sad life
Maybe one day who knows I may end up like Karen from Will and Grace fingers crossed.